It sucks to be trying to avoid/ ignore you. And no i'm not condemning you simply because of this little act. I think its more like. More like i've had enough of compromising and prioritising you and being placed last on your list. More like i've had enough of trying to be there for you all the time and having you MIA-ing whenever i need somebody. If you know me well enough , then you should have already done something bout this by now isnt it? And much as i feel like a bitch these days , or even when i'm writing this, i seriously think its the best for us. At least for me. Hello, i've spent so much time (almost all the time) trying to do things for you. I think its time i start thinking bout myself. This is going no where anyway.
I've tried talking to you about this. Since dunno how many million years ago, tried hinting you . But oh well. Either u're too dumb, or the hints werent obvious or you just simply cant be bothered. I'd hate to think its the third one. Even now, i swear i wanted to make it work just the other day. Swear i wanted to write u a letter/ talk to you / whatever. That's the least i could do to salvage the situation despite the reluctance cos on second thoughts, we've been through to much to give it all up. But then again i think u messed it up. You just fucking aggravated the whole thing. And pfft. Now its gone. Oh well, maybe you really just dont care. Or maybe its your nature to be insensitive/ hide your feelings. But its not working now. Not at this stage.
Maybe i should just put everything aside and act like we're okay. But that's fucking hypocritical of me can. Acting like we're okay even though i'm getting progressively irked with your presence. I dunno what's gotten into me, why i keep feeling fucked up with you around. Seriously , i also dunwan. But still. I have to face up to my feelings inside. I dont wanna carry on the act you get it?
And yes, its fucking odd im leaving this thing hanging, im not doing anything bout it. A lil irresponsible of me, in some ways. But truth is, i cant be bothered with it. At least not enough for me to want to speak up. And i was hoping u'd be the one trying to do something. At least, tell me you also want to make this work. But no . You didnt. You didnt you didnt YOU DIDNT. What now, you tell me.